So while procrastinating, I checked my stats. 1111 views. Holy frack. You are sharking me right now. That's, like, 63 views in two days. Mind=blown. I'm in awe. I feel so loved. I'm really happy. Guys, thank you so much. Really. So, since this is a number that never will repeat itself on here ever again, I'm making a wish. A special wish. One that will forever remain Victoria's secret. ;D See what I did there? LAWLZ.
So, last night was the first night I had an old white guy buy me drinks. No, I didn't break into a nightclub, I was volunteering at our local haunted, decrepit, forgotten theater. Yes it has a bar. No I was not ordering tequila shots. Yes, just Coke. No, not the kind you snort. Anyhoo, I'm like "IMMA DIE OF DEHYDRATAMATION." And then the guy just watches me sip my coke and is like "This one's on me." and I'm just thinking "That's not ALL you want ON you...." *runs away screaming holding red keg cup full of coke. The non-snorting kind.*
Ah, my adventurous adventures. I wonder how many people are willing to buy me stuff. Must try this tactic before I go to college. Maybe I'll walk into some posh restaurant and lament about my college edumacation costs and let some really rich white guy pull out his credit card and be like "This one's on me."
Holy sweet Tardis of Gallifrey, I did not say that. I am never getting a sugar daddy. I think I just puked in my mouth a little bit.
Love and making it rain (sheesus frack, I'm never becoming a stripper either, no matter how much my lesbian friends want me to),
Victory
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