Let me tell you a story......

       Hello sweeties! I apologize for my prolonged absence. I know many of you had been wondering why I had disappeared off the face of the earth for so long. Well, funny story actually....

       So, I was walking down the street to the library when I heard a sound not unlike the slow ripping of fabric. Naturally, I was extremely curious, so after taking a moment to look around and see if some poor, unfortunate soul had split their pants after bending down to pick up a penny or something, I headed to the side of the library to investigate. The air has a strange shimmer in one spot, like heat waves off asphalt on a summer day. Of course, this was no summer day and this was above a patch of grass, not synthetic man-made pavement. And to top off the weirdness, there was a faintly smoking piece of paper beneath this shimmery spot. I picked it up and saw it was blank, but to my surprise, the faint outline of scrawled words began to materialize. 

       "The borders are breaking down, S.O.S to 163.2NX211W Tear enlargement." Ok, WEIRD BRO. But what was weirder was the face that the shimmery spot started making that fabric sound. It seemed to grow more solid, and A FRICKIN THING CAME OUT OF THE AIR LIKE HOLY FRACK. It looked like a gerbil. Like a large, robotic gerbil. ROBOT GERBIL. It just STARED INTO MY SOUL and I noticed its eyes were like little scanners! SCANNING MY SOUL and then it fracking BEEPED LIKE IT WAS ITS LAST CHANCE TO BEEP EVER. And then it fracking ran off into the distance! So after a second of consideration of how stupid I was being, I ran after it and caught that weird little robotic bastard. It didn't squirm, actually. I noticed a button and pushed it. Then the thingy projected this holographic powerpoint thingy and IT HAD WORDS ON IT. "Search and Scout Robotron 1720244 Mission: Find the remaining alternate dimensional repair assistant." Then another slide came on! "Situation: Dire. Dimensions between alternate universes are developing tears and past, present and future time events are seeping into other dimensions and tainting the natural progression of time and events in said dimension. Continuation of this will result in the fabric of reality disintegrating at a rapid pace until the universes implode upon each other. Needed: Brave soul from Earth Dimension 3662 to assist in repairing tears." Right after that came another slide. "Do you accept? Push Robotron button YES/NO"

      What did I do then dear readers?
     
       I pressed "YES"

More later,
Victory