Inertia and the coming of the Llama Armageddon.

      You know, when people get flipped upside down at dizzying speeds, they tend to scream or vomit spectacularly. And then there's me, calmly turning to the person next to me and saying "You know, Newton's laws of motion state that an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon another force. The fair is all about physics, actually." Cue the wierd looks. Yes, I'm the girl that starts talking about physics at the fair. I know. Don't judge me.

     My bestie's little brother is hitting on me. Dude, you're 9. You are too young to make sexual innuendos or ask for my number. Being in a relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yeah, the honeymoon phase is wonderful, that lasts a while, but then it gets a little difficult later. It takes work. Sometimes you have awkward issues with each other. Sometimes you have arguments. Sometimes you can't figure out a time when you both can meet and go on a date before someone moves across the country so you just curl up in the fetal position with your love's teddy bear that they gave you. You see, Marcos, it takes work, but it's worth it if it's the right person. That person who makes your stomach writhe with butterflies (in a good way) whenever the thought of them crosses your mind. Someone who makes you smile like the sun when their name flashes across your phone screen. Someone who fills your heart with adoration and warmth, someone who you can't wait to see again. Someone who keeps you up at night just thinking about them, not daring to escape into your dreams because your reality is so much better. That someone who can shatter your heart into an irreparable, chaotic symphony of pain and broken memories with a single word, then stitch it back together and make it whole with three more. You see, Marcos, there is more to being with someone than just ogling at their breasts. It's about the power of love.

      I also know you give no fracks because while I was pouring out my soul for you to understand the trials I faced, you made all your Transformers destroy each other with a mixture of corn dog and curly fry. I had high hopes for you, Marcos. I really did.

      I suppose I will not waste my wisdom on a sexually deprived nine year old.

      I seem to be an excellent driver. Them bumper cars man. Everyone is in a ferocious man-pile of limbs and twisted metal, and I'm prancing that car like a unicorn over the chaos. Smooth.

      Now if only I had enough coordination at darts to win that Pikachu plushie. But we all know there will be some pain and blood and enraged llamas in the process. This is the fair bro. The amount of emotionally unstable llamas here is equivalent to the amount of emotionally unstable teenage girls. It's like llama armageddon over here.

Love and angry llamas,
Victory