You know, great scholars will tell you to listen to classical music, like Mozart, while you study to make you more attentive to details and retain more facts. Great Scholar, have you ever listened to the dark side of Mozart in the night, desperately scrambling to finish your history homework? Have you ever really listened to that misery leaking out of your Pandora app? HAVE YOU?!?! Because I sure have, and it was in no way pretty or inspiring. Imagine the wailing of cellos and french horns, begging for the sweet release of death, echoing through your ears, ricocheting around your brain, consuming all feeble scraps of joy and logic as you succumb to the flow of depression? Yeah, exactly. How am I supposed to think about Catholics in Maryland in colonial times when I'm giggling madly at the idea of setting my binders on fire using friction from broken harp strings? It don't work that way hon.
So, according to these scholars, music with lyrics is distracting and keeps you from focusing on the task at hand, therefore instrumental music is preferable. I must agree. There is not a single Taylor Swift song in this dimension that I do not know the words of. A flicker of music whispers on the radio and I instantly know it's name, lyrics, rhythm, and how many reindeer I need to replicate that epic drum solo. So I would spend the whole time singing and tap dancing with reindeer instead of working. Oopsies.
Ooooooh, my mummy is making me a purple beanie!!! YES! I love beanies! I am going be the most hipster beanie-wielder in the hood!
Love and tap-dancing reindeer in beanies,
Victory
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