GOTTA CATCH EM ALL! Or, the story of how I was given a second chance at a desirable childhood.

      I will be forever grateful to my amazing guy friend, whom I asked to give me a single Pokemon game for PC, and he instead gave them all to me. FOREVER GRATEFUL. And thus my journey began, in Littleroot Town, in Pokemon Ruby.

     It's day three, and I have two gym badges, a level 15 Shroomish and a level 21 Combusken to name a few. I feel mighty. Powerful. Unstoppable. At least until I remember I should be typing up Congress bills for Speech and Debate on monday. This is destroying my life in a wonderful way. I do not want to pause, to gravitate away from my ultimate destination. VICTORY. I WILL NEVER REST UNTIL I AM THE VERY BEST.

     I AM THROWING AWAY MY LIFE.

     I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT.

     You see, I never got to play Pokemon as a child. My mom wanted me to do more productive things, proper things five year olds should do like reading presidential biographies and making lemon powered clocks. (Welcome to my childhood.) I remember sadly staring at everyone's Gameboys, holding my little stack of Pokemon cards and looking dejectedly at Rapidash, wishing it were on a screen kicking wild Pokemon butt. I wanted to be a trainer. I wanted to raise a Bulbasaur. I wanted to battle others and hike in tall grass. And now, at almost 16, I finally got the chance to live the life I've always dreamed of living. Despite my busy life, despite my long days and wakeful nights, my tired nature and constant crap to do somewhere, I began living the life I've dreamed of. I created my own destiny, I CHOSE the path to happiness. It may have taken me a while, but I have achieved it. I am victorious.

Never give up on your dreams,
Victory

Bitter Irony and Flaming Rainbows: OR What I learned about society from Robot Unicorn Attack.

      I was playing Robot Unicorn Attack today, and I couldn't help but notice about how deceptively hateful this game is. Just before you are about to start running in the land of bubbly joy and dolphins and sparkles without a care in the world, a menacing message pops up, something along the lines of "YOU WILL FAIL." Or, "YOU WILL DIE IN PAINFUL BLAZE OF FLAME AND SCORCHED FLESH WHILE THE GODS OF HATRED LAUGH AS YOU WRITHE IN AGONY." Or something like that. Then, after this cheerily presented message of doom, you are shoved into a world that is so deceitfully joyful and gentle and inviting, you question what the computer presented to you earlier. I hate this a lot.

      It is a lie.

      In a way, this atrocious distortion is like everyday life. You are presented a world brimming with hope and success, only to be given the threatening message "You will undoubtedly fail." We try to gallop through our lives despite this message, only to fall apart into a blaze of flame when presented with a seemingly impregnable obstacle. In this way, we allow these foreboding messages and expectation of failure to dictate our own success. It really isn't fair. This is why I prefer to play the Heavy Metal version. Sure, it's dark, twisted, and brimming with masochism, but at least I expect that. At least the messages of doom and despair actually match the digital world I'm about to enter. I suppose this is another way of saying I prefer a bitter truth than a beautifully disguised lie. There's a world you know that is full of pain yet honest, and another world created to be beautiful but yet deceitfully tears you down from the inside. Because honestly? Which one is truly more twisted, the ugly yet honest world, or the beautiful yet hopelessly flawed and psychologically deteriorating, deceptive world?

Think about it,
Victory

An excess of Harry Potter. Wait, no, there is no such thing. My bad.

      Sometimes, life has a way of screwing everything up. Other times, life has a way of fixing everything that was screwed up and makes everything perfect. So remember, next time something crappy happens, it happened for a reason, and life always has something better up its sleeve for you. Sometimes we have to suffer a little before we can get our happy ending, but it's going to be worth it in the end.

      I HAVE MORE PUDDING YESSSSSSSS BEST DAY EVAR

       I ask for a moment of your time to admire this excellent display of nerdy vulgarity.

     

And here is one of my all-time favorite pictures EVAR

Love and Furnunculous Jinxes (Look it up, you caitiff, and you call yourself a true fan!)
                      Victory

There's a rainbow around every corner darling :)

Today was a magical, wonderful day. I spent the day volunteering at the zoo, spending time with my friends and having deep conversations with all the animals. Oh yes, and being Spiderman. Observe.

                                                             And then I fell over.

Yep, I derped out pretty badly. Oh well, it is the essence of me, Victory. Anyhoo, it was a wonderful magical day. Untill I saw my ex. And I'll admit I cried. It was raining, which just deepened my sorrow....but then I looked up and saw a rainbow. I took it as a sign. You can't let a little rain ruin your day, you know what I mean? You can't hold onto something you can't hold, because you hurt yourself the most. Even when you are in the darkest of places, in the saddest of times, there is a light within you that will always show you the way. We were all broken at one point, but the purpose of life is build ourselves up better with the broken pieces of our past. You are the only one holding yourself back with your past...so spread your wings and embrace your bright, shining future darlings.



A Lesson in Underestimation and the Importance of Not Kicking Babies In the Face.

So...lunch is extraordinarily odd sometimes. So today's lesson: kicking babies in the face is socially unacceptable, however angry you may be. But, kicking them in the face when you're ecstatic is a COMPLETELY different matter! Just kidding...kids, never kick the young in the face. They grow up with a seething hatred of humanity, and one day, they will assemble enough power to annihilate the entire populace of North America...all because you gave that baby a kick and not a hug. You don't know who that child may grow up to be! I mean, no one looked at Abraham Lincoln when he was in diapers and said, "Hey! See this infant American who is currently sharting in his diaper and pulling on the cat's tail? He's going to lead this nation to war and glory someday!" No one. Not even his mom. Never underestimate someone. It's like Magikarp. Observe here.

This little sucker is probably the most pathetic Pokemon that ever existed. It has one defence; Splash, which is about as useful as flatulence in a Jacuzzi. It is so weak, even whiny picky diva Charmander that has to be taken to the hospital just because it rains on his tail can take this little poltroon on. This absolute caitiff has but one saving grace; take this dastardly loser to Level 20 and.........

Your opposition is absolutely, 100% screwed. Behold, Gyarados, a ferocious champion that arose from a loserly goldfish. It is proof that even the most miserly, pathetic, weak looking creature has the potential to completely f*** up the absolute s*** out of you. So...never underestimate people, and never kick a baby in the face. The world doesn't need another Kim Jong Un.

You will be so, so missed....

Whelp...today was the last day for our seniors here, and I will miss them all so, so much...especially a select few. Namely, the one person who I thought hated me ended up caring about me all along...it's so bittersweet, finding that out and then having to let it go.  But today, I renewed my faith in destiny. Because after all I learned today, I am left with the conclusion that everything happens for a reason and that if it truly meant to be, it will happen, however long it takes. It may take months, or even years, but it will come back to you. Today, my faith in that belief was restored, all thanks to the one who didn't end this chapter of my life with "Happily Never After" but with a "To Be Continued..." who knows? Maybe the last chapter's closing words will be "And they lived happily ever after."